How to Survive the Divorce Process with a Narcissist

Being married to a narcissist can be a nightmare, and the only way out is getting a divorce. However, narcissists will not let go easily. 

The good news is others in New Jersey have navigated this difficult phase, and there is a lot you can learn from how they handled the situation. 

This guide offers tips on how to make it through a divorce with a narcissist and can be an excellent read for you.

Educate Yourself about Narcissists

You probably know your spouse as a narcissist through the experience of living with them. But when going through a divorce, you want to have all the information you can get about narcissists to help you prepare for every situation when it arises. 

People with narcissistic tendencies will always look for ways to manipulate, whether with charm, scare tactics, or blow-ups, just to have their way. You may get fooled or cower in fear if you are not informed on how they think and act. 

Confide in your New Jersey divorce lawyer. There is a chance they have handled a case similar to yours and can offer some tips. Also, look for resources on the subject online or consider talking to a therapist. 

Hire a Lawyer

A narcissist will do everything in their power to frustrate you, including trampling on your rights. Without the help of a lawyer, you may not even understand when your rights are violated or the legal remedies available for you. 

Having a lawyer on your side sends a strong message to them, making them careful about what they do in light of the potential consequences of their actions. When picking a lawyer, choose one with experience working on similar cases. 

If you are unsure how to identify experience in a similar case, go with experience. The more years of practice a lawyer has, the more they are likely to have worked cases with narcissists.

Keep an Accurate Record of Everything

Keeping records can be an excellent way of exonerating yourself. You have to remember that narcissists can also be very good liars, and you want to have everything on record to counter all lies. 

Pennsylvania is a two-party consent state, so you cannot make audio or video recordings if you do not have consent from your soon-to-be ex. However, you can document using other means, such as putting everything in writing. 

Keep records of everything you do, such as being at a specific place at a specific time, for example, if you were to pick up a child or drop them off after visitation. Also, document any harm inflicted if they are being abusive and keep every document that can help in establishing a fact in a case.

Limit Contact

“Narcissists like being on top of everything, and losing feels like a personal attack on their self-esteem. If they can’t keep you from going forward with the divorce, they could resort to physical, verbal, or psychological abuse,” says attorney Galit Moskowitz of Moskowitz Law Group, LLC.

The best way to avoid getting into situations where you get hurt is by cutting off contact. Cutting off contact altogether may not be possible in some situations, for example, if you are co-parenting. In such situations, keep contact to a minimum. 

You may also want to consider tagging a friend or a family member when you meet them for child pick-ups, drop-offs, or anything else. If they can’t respect boundaries or are abusive, your lawyer can help you get protective orders against them.

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